10:33am.

What a day! Perfect day for sleeping as it has been raining since last night. Wet and cool weather. But, big ass day with ass shit luck. I was suppose to sleeping now but this class ruined the whole party. Actually it is not the class but some work at hospital. Work, something important.

Whatever, i'm on my class now. Gynae class. Mahbuba madam taking this class. What she's saying? I can't hear it the back bench. Yes, i'm a backbencher. A.P.J Abdul Kalam said, the greatest mind of a nation maybe found at the last benches of the classroom. Good call Mr. Kalam. You lifted my spirits up. Well, blogging is helping me out during classes. It is helping me to pass the time. I don't wanna waste my valuable time listening some yada yada stuff of our gynae teachers. They are all jerks. Mrs. Mahbuba is trying to entertain us with her shit ass jokes and students are pretending their selves to laugh. Lol. No big deal. I need a cup of tea and a cigarette right away. But that won't be possible for next couple of hours perhaps.

To whom i shall offer my gratitude for this glorious bounty? Deep sigh. Very deep sigh.

An wonderful evening.

8:02pm

Hey guys. Here i am again, time's 8 oh 2. Location padmar par. Manoshik vabe kichuta biddhosto. Tai padmae par a ghurte ashlam. Mojai lagtese. Huge batash. Seems like whirlwind. This is fucking awesome. Wave after wave is hitting this cement blocks. But everything is so dark. Few stars up above the sky. Dheu gulo eshe amr pa chuye jacche. Valo lagtese. Some other fallas came here too, but they are making noise. I need serenity here. For that why i came here. I want to feel the sound of this wave of padma. It's drizzling right away. It's weed what else i need. Uff! Sunny talks too much. No big deal. They are enjoying theirslves. Can't complain it. But the problem is, when i close my eyes i used to have a glimpse of cupid, my cupid. Ami ekta gan shuntesilam, bojhe na se bojhe na. Indian bagla song. Valo lage. Cause amr cupid o bojhe na how much i love her. She's makin me crazy. Lyrics of this song is crazy. Damn fucking awesome. Here it is,
Bojhe na se bojhe na. Seto ajo bojhena. Amr moner betha, prem ki sudhu betha. Uttor ajo mele na.
A buke ato prem tar cokhe ghrina, chayna shunte se a buker kanna. Ami cokher pani, ki kore takey boli, a buk a ki bedona.
Bojhe na se bojhe na, seto ajo bojhe na. Amr moner kotha, prem ki shudhu betha, uttor ajo melena.
Prithibi ek dikey, ek dikey ami. Aj amr rokte mishe gecho tumi, naiba holo dekha, dekhbo ami eka, shopner ai shimane.
Bojhe na se bojhe na, seto ajo bojhe na. Amr moner kotha, prem ki shudhu betha. Uttor ajo mele na.
Bojhena se bojhe na.

Kobe bujhbe amr cupid. Hoyto kono din o na. Onek khon por paye ekta dheu sporsho korlo. Ah, what a beauty of nature. Pa pani dubiye cement er block a boshe achi r gan shunchi... Lemme have sometime of my own.

Boshe boshe gan shuchi. Khub valo lagche. Thanks to kalam, sunny and mosharrof for their nice plan of coming here.

Ora hatte hatte shamne jacche. Amr ekhanei boshe thakte valo lagche. Onekta vije gechi dheu er panite. Tobuo valo lagche.

9:18pm

Still boshe achi. Pani bartese. Tai ektu uporer block a boschi. Pani ektu gorom lagtese. Maybe thanda batash a body temp. kome geche. Asolei ektu thanda thanda lagche. Amr sathe ekhon sunny boshe ache. O e bollo amk uporer block a boshte. Thanks to him for reminding me this. Ami onno-monosko chila. Panir level er dikey kheyal e chilona.

Akhon campus a back korChi. Vaggo valo auto peyechi. Koyek jon lok k kothao namiye amader niye jabe. Tai cha khete khete wait korchi auto tar jonn. Halka bristy hocche. Anyways, it was an wonderful evening, a memorable one. Thanks to my buddies for provoking me to come here.

1:16:42am

Hey guys! How's your days going on? Pretty cool like me huh? lol. Today, was total shit for me. Real deep shit. I wake up at almost nine 30 am went to class and was listening blah blah blah of shamsun nahar madam. Then went to P.W.D for some another shit, but it doesn't paid off. Then played football after ... um mm, i forgot when i played football last. Then with some friends, and after all these shit now i'm at my room. Rolling on chair and listening Always with you, with me instrumental by Joe Satriani. This one is of my favorite instrumental. Feeling a bit headache, as i was drenched. I told you guys i hate rain, told you on facebook actually. When i listen to this music, it seems i'm feeling it. It is playing on my heart. Such awesome thing it is. It was jamil's birthday. He gave me some chocolates and last night some sweet meat. I gave i him a pen brought by my brother from abroad. And some awesome song collection. He likes my collection. It was at afternoon after football. Actually i'm typing a mail and i will send it to my blog to publish. Cool. It is raining outside. I hate rain as i have allergy to this and another thing is dirty mud comes out on road. I was listening hindi songs after a long while. And put some line of a lyrics on my facebook status. Hindi song is not my type. So, it will seem funny though. Hindi song mostly indicates sex. A song translation is like this, Laila im laila, i'm that kind of laila with whom everyone wants to meet alone. What on earth will they do meeting her alone? Surely indicates sex. (To people from abroad, It is not our culture.) Forget it. I was watching movie just earlier, The Incredible at star movies channel. It is 2nd time for mine.

I was listening a hindi song called Yaro yehi dosti hain by Junun. Junun is pakistani band. This song is about Friends. The true friend you can have if you're fortunate. Well, i was fortunate enough and i am except at FMC. Seems it does look like different from elsewhere, Our FMC. Huh. Truly i have so many true friends who can die for me. Well, that sounds like little weird. No one in this world can sacrifice his/her life for other one. I was meant to say, they can risk their life for me. Like, if anyone kill me, they will take revenge no matter what happens. Another thing is, no one can hit me in presence of them, they'll protect me. That's why i told that. I had phone call right now, one of my local budd is seeking help from me. Good call at right time, when i'm planning to do that job myself. Ha ha.

2:23am

I had a phone call. In phone when it is a girl i talk more logical. Girls don't have sharp brain. In most cases they can't get me. Then i need to elaborate what i meant to say. She don't like smoking at all. That doesn't matter to me actually. But why do girls don't like smoking, i can't get that. Well, maybe they want to burn out a boy's life all alone. Lol. That was a good reason i've made. Lol. I think this girl would have a smoker as her husband. And another weird thing about this girl is, she gave me call. OMG! I never thought a girl can call a boy just to have chat instead of miss-call. Most of the girls are same. And about my cupid, she's just an angel in human form. If i can have a day with her, i'll just stare down on her whole day. These eyes of mine are ocean thirsty to see her. Well, my creator made me lucky enough and i offer my gratitude to him. But only at this matter i'm unlucky and that was valuable for me. Maybe he doesn't want me to get into affair or maybe he kept something better for me or maybe he took my greatest happiness and gave all others. I may have declared her as queen of this campus. As i'm some sort of king. Lol. And of course my buddies made me king, and they'll make her queen too. All of them would have respected her as well as loved her. She lost something even more. I love you cupid. A good night kiss on your forehead. Umwah:-* Bye.

Ops! Madam ta pura pain. Biroktikor. Samsun nahar name naki tar. Ato pak pak kore. Proxy diye dhora khaise. Present 18 jon, attendence 19 jon er. Anyways, obs niye ami khub hotash. Books a j picture gulo ase segulo dekhtei to bomi ashe. Madam er voice ta o shundor na. Beshi biroktikor. Mone hoy ear drum a khub sharply hit kore. Phone a manage kortese ekta pt. Akhon history and case dekha, bye

10:52 am

I'm on my class now. Obstetrics, lectured by Samsun nahar madam. What is she saying? Blah blah blah. Can't understand anything. Well, a simple confession, i was a little bit late. So, i don't know what the topic is. It is the worst subject ever. No doubt, as it belongs to female. Lol.

Need a change

2:38am

Hi guys! I'm back again. Time's two 38 am, location same. Today i'm feeling a bit better. Last night i was screwed. Don't know what i posted actually. I'm listening song, two songs repeatedly. One is Don't expect me to be your friend by Lobo and another one is One step up by Bruce Springsteen. I love these two songs. Well, tonight i'm willing to sleep early. Lets see if i can. I wanna change my lifestyle. It's not that i have a bad lifestyle better i can call it a little bit careless lifestyle. And i wanna turn it to more carefull. I don't know if i can realy make it, but l'd try my best.

Today i found our principle Mr. Tito in facebook. Never thought he would be at facebook. He does have a good taste. And i'm gonna concentrate on making money. I realy need some huge amount of money and share it with my buddies. They also need some. I'm planning to finish up my block posting with 16th batch. Some of my friends are doing such. Well, good call shipon. Good luck for that one.

I wanna start something new. Something i can enjoy. Who said that i have a lifetime gig with what i'm doing? Who like to do same charades all the time? It will go on it's own way. I've already reached at that level, maybe a bit higher than that. Now let my buddies do that with my supervision. Now i want them to control all thigs here. Now it's my time, time for the dream, dream of the skies. Oh hell no, it's already 3 oh 2 am. I better go and dream. Good night and a good night kiss to my cupid on her forehead. Ummwah :-* Bye.

Talking to myself

4:36am

Hi guys. This is shipon. Time's four 36 am. Location own room at boys hostel of fmc. At first, i'm not gonna lie and i want to inform you people that i'm a little intoxicated. I came back to fmc last day at afternoon. I've done nothing yet except blogging. Lol. Of course you can count it as work. Maybe not something important but work after all.

I'm lying on my bed and obviously listening music. My mp3 player playing music for me. Those are mind blowing songs. I just love them. And another thing i love is my snow white bed. I had a cup of tea and smoke one cigarette already before typing. These days i'm passing is like hell to me. I can't even tolerate. Sometimes it suffocates me. And wanna know the reason? Yes, it is for cupid. I don't know how much i love her, but i do know i love her and i can't get her. One of my friend want me to reveal this mystery. Metery of cupid. Well, i can do that. But the problem is, as i'm not a good guy and i have too many enemies, some people can do harm to her. Those people can do some nasty politics mixing up her. I don't want her to get into it. She's my another world, world of joy and happiness. When i think about her, i feel the joy yet it suffocates me. Breathing seems so difficult for me. Just feeling like i'm dying. But when i realize i'm alive it gives much more pain, like someone squeezing my heart to get all the blood off it. Nights are passing through. How much you love her shipon? I don't know, i can't measure it. All i know is i love her, and i can do anything for her. Even i can give up everything for her. Whoa! That's impressive. But buddy, why don't you tell her this? I can't tell her. Why? Do you think it's easy to say i love you? Yes it is. Nope, it isn't. But who are you? Why you are asking me this? Hahaha, can't you recognize me? Nope. I'm shipon. What? What the fuck are you talking about. Then who am i? You are shipon. Fuck you man. Do you thing i'm crazy? Hey hey, calm down, i'm your inner self. LMAO. Why you are laughing shipon? You're nuts? Nope. Then stop kidding me. Innerself, huh? You are fucking lame. Hang one, just look at me, i know everything about you. Then tell me what you know? What you want to know from me? Okay, tell me, is cupid loves me? I don't know, i know as much as you know about your cupid. Okay, then tell me is she hates me? Nope, she doesn't hate you, as because you've done nothing to hate you. But she fears you. Why? Don't know, maybe the same reason everyone else fears you. I'm here to help you shipon. What kind of help? As you need. I need no help from you. Yes you do. You are now at subconscious level. You need me. What else i need? What else, huh? Close your eyes, what can you see. A glimpse of cupid. That's what you need besides me. C'mon dude. Let me hook you off. You can't hook me off, no one can. Listen buddy, love is not for you. You are not that type. Yes you do love your people, but that is too gross. You are not good at making love. Who said that? I do love her, that's for sure. Yeah, but i said you are not good at that. Love is not so simple. Did i ever said it simple. Oh jesus, no you didn't. She don't have any feelings about you. How did you know? Yes, i know. Okay okay. You're right. Now ans me few things. Okay, go on, hit me. Did she ever thought about me? Maybe. What is she doing now, sleep? Did she ever dreamt of me? C'mon shipon. Why she would dream about you. Who are you to her? No one. But i love her. That is one sided, you know. So, what can i do now? What can you do? That was good ques. You can do two thing. One, you can forget her. That's impossible, whoever you are you might know that. Yes i know, that's why i left another option. So, what is that? Two, you can... Yes go on, what? You can... Fuck you man, just tell me what else i can do, that is the only option i have. Calm down bud. You can love her without hoping to get her. Sorry bud, don't give me that sad face. Poor you, you know you look so weird on that sad face. Hey bud, listen, you better chill out like you used to do at 1st year. This is not my 1st year you asshole. And would you please shut your pie hole for a minute? Okay okay. Calm down. Jesus christ, help this boy. Excuse me. I don't need any help. Neither from you nor from jesus. Get the hell outta here. Could you please tell me one thing? Yes i can, i'm here just for you. Am i really bad guy? No no, don't hesitate. Tell me frankly. I think, no you're not. Then why do people hate me? Nobody hates you shipon. Just a few people, don't count on them. Seriously, you know what i think of myself? What? I am a bad guy. I have gallons of alcohol in my stomach. That doesn't make anyone bad. You are not that gross. Nope man, in our country it's bad. Hey, c'mon. Don't you think the people of your country just upgraded. And in your modern society alcohol is a little thing. And weed? Is it little too? And juice? Is it little either? Let me say you something shipon. Besides this addiction everything you've done earlier was greatly appreciated by your people and the students of fmc too. People will remember your name. What can be more glorious than this? Yeah, you're right. But you know, we people only remember bad things till death of any guy, and the good things, not more than a year or even less. Do you think so? Yes i do. Lets see who's right. Okay. Hey, i wanna see my cupid. And how you're gonna do that? I don't know. Do you have any idea? Nope. But one thing i can tell you, you better check her pictures you have. That i always do. I didn't meant that. I meant to see her face to face. That would be difficult. So difficult. Yeah i know. But it is difficult either to satisfy my thirsty eyes with her pictures. Hey, i have an idea. What? Tell me. You better close your eyes again. Hope you can see her. Whoa! Finally you are smiling. What did you saw? She was smiling at me. Wow, that's so romantic. Not that much. One day i dreamt about her. And that's what i call romantic. Can i ask you about the dream? Yeah, sure, She come to me knowing i love her and she hold my hand and replied she loves me too. We were walking holding hands of each other. Uhh! I wish your dream come true. Hey shipon? Yeah? What's the time now? It's five 33. OMG! It's morning already. Why don't you turn your phone off and go to sleep. I'm not feeling sleepy. Can you do me a favor? Sure, what? Fetch me a cigarette. Okay, hang on. Here it is. Thank you. Oh shit. What happened? I just burnt my wrist. Oh jesus. Are you okay? Yeah yeah, don't worry. I'm alright. Go to sleep now dear. Would you please let me finish my cigarette? Okay, finish it. Can i ask you one thing? Not now shipon, it's already morning. Just, last one please. You insists a lot. Okay go on. But last one remember. What if i shit you out dead? You can't do that shipon. You've already tried once when you felt guilty for the wrong you've done. That was my biggest mistake, but i was compelled to. Yes i know. Those emotional blackmails, you were afraid. Yeah. You know i hate myself most. Being hatred by yourself is far better than being hatred by others. You are a lucky guy shipon. People around you really loves you. Now go to sleep and have a nice dream. Thank you. Just tell me one thing, when you'll come back? Whenever you need. Till then bye. Good night. Good night.

The sun goes down, I feel the light betray me...

Fattrar char a fattrami.

Looking at the horizon. Trying to see my life. But can't even see. Because someone stoolen my life.

Jibon, jekhane jemon.

3:33pm

Bus cholche. Totota speedy na bus ta. Tachara savar er rastae speed a chalano o jaena. Jam thake ekhane okhane. Savar. Akhane amr kichu friends ase. Besh powerful. Now JU te pore. H.S.C exam er pore besh kichu shomoy akhane adda mere kataisi. Shomoy pelei savar chole ashtam. Shuvo, sobuz, robin aro oneke. Memories. Jotil jinis. Kokhon mojar, kokhono bishadmoy. Gan shunchi mobile a. Artcell er. Headphone ta nosto holo goto porshu, ek side nosto. Majhe majhe baje, majhe majhe baje na.
Cupid k niyeo amr kichu srity ache. Pashapashi bole golpo korar srity. Khub nerveous feel korchilam tokhon. Ekdom corner a boschila jeno or sorir a dhakka na lage. Se ask korsilo, 'tmk amader sathe ashte bole tmr dintai mati kore dilam na? Ami bollam, nah thik ase. Problem nei. Kichukkhon por abar ask korlo, boste problem hocche? Ami reply korlam, nah. Mukhe akhon thanda batash lagtese. Valo lagche. But prochondo matha betha korche. Bujhtesi keno, but upae nai. Faridpur giye hoyto kichu kora jabe. Jai hok, ja bolchilam, Oi din ami drunk chilam kichuta. Abong amr sathe ekta mojor bottle chilo, alcohol mixed. O nak chepe bose chilo or orna diye. Ami confused chilam. O ki alcohol er gondhe nak chepe ache kina? Tai mojor bottle ta fele dilam. R van thamiye candy kine khelam. Then okey ask korlam, tmr ki prOblem hocche? O bollo, koi na to. Ami bollam, nah nak chepe acho tai ask korlam. O bollo, amr dust allergy ache. Jak ektu shanti pelam. Rasta ta valo chilo na. Tai 2/3 bar or sathe dhakka o khelam. Khub bibroto bodh korchilam tokhon. Lojja o lagchilo. Ferar pothe amra chilam sobar seshe. Amrao vablam aste aste jai. R ami thakle sobai ektu voy kom e pae. Ochena jaega holeo. Pore ekta dokan er shamne van thamiye mojo kinlam sobar jonno. Emon vab nilam j ami mojo khete khub like kori. Evabe kete gelo oi din. Srity hoye roye gelo sudhu amr kache.
Pa betha korche khub. Dhat. Halka halka bristy hocche. Jodio i hate rain, tobuo bristy te vijte icche korche. Wow ki shundor name hospital er. Rome American Hospital. Odvut. Sob doc ki Italy r americar? All because of you by Saliva ganta hocche, josh ekta gan. Sob kichu e tmr jonno. Accha ekhon ki rongdhonu othe na? Onek din rongdhonu dekhi na. Artificial rongdhonu saradin dekhlam age choto belae. Prism diye. Choto belae nijessho ekta lab korsilam bashay. Ekbar chinta korsilam microscope o kine felbo. Pore r kena hoini. Lol. Scientist er moto vab nite cheyechilam hoyto. Thanda batash eshe lagche mukhe, sathe 2/1 ta bristyr fota. Gram a jete icche korche. But jabona. Indecision a vugtesi koyekdin dhore. Ki korbo, ki korbo na. Valo lagche na. Kichukkhon cokh bondho kore thaki. Hoyto valo lagbe...

Shibir - Bastards of 71.

2:41am

Here i am again. It is really inspiring for me knowing that people are visiting my blog everyday. And most of the traffic comes from facebook. Today i've edited my blog and put some new look for it. Hope you guys will like it.
Today one thing made me so angry. And the thing was a picture. Someone uploaded a picture on FB and taggeg Mr. Jami of F-13. Perhaps the uploader supports Islami Chattro Shibir politics. That doesn't matter at all. The point is, there was text in that picture saying, Hasina has taken money from pakistan in 1971 for her livelihood. Well, ofcourse she shouldn't do that. But my ques is, if it is a crime or something illogical or dispute our pride howcome you people support JAMAT??? As they are the war criminals, they were those bastards helping pakistani army to rape our women, to kill our freedom fighters, to burn out the village of our country. Shame on you guys. Mr. Salauddin Kader chowdhury, the bastard once said, 'it was war in 1971 and we lost. What if we won?' So, ofcourse you lost the war, and for that reason you are not independent, you are not free, this is not your country. And the supporters of those bastards, the new generation of rajakar, you are not free too. The freedom is not yours. I think this shibir guys must trying to repay to those rajakar by supporting them, as with their help these shibir guys was born muslim as pakistani raped their mother. They use religious morals for their politics. Because religion is so sophisticated for any muslims. And they usually choose people came from rural, or people of middle class or lower middle class family as they need to help theirselves with finance. Retina, the factory of producing bastards. I just hate these guys. Curse on you. Allah will punish you as you guys are supporting the traitors of motheland.

What is love???

1:32am

I was talking about heart. Well, it is just a pumping mechine which pumps the blood. It doesn't have any relation with emotion. Yeah perhaps it has. But that is not so significant. That little relation is, emotion controls it's activity. In nervousness it pumps faster than usual. That's a different fact. But the perception goes directly to brain. and it is limbic system which we can say our MON in bangla. So, what is Love? It is something beyond our comprehension. No one can explain what love is. Let me think about it. Well, love is a virus. It enters through the eyes, multiplies is you heart, travels through your mind and weakens your activity, viability changes your habit, desire, actually whole life. Ha ha ha. It may happen in 2 ways, Acute love (Love at 1st sight and most of it, is attraction. Not all) and Chronic love (Mostly true love, happens slowly and beyond your awareness, unknown, unspoken) I never said to my mom or dad or my brothers and sister that i love them. That is chronic. That can be happen to others to. But now these love is fake. Like, a boy said 'hey girl, i love u' and the girl replied, 'umm i'm not sure, let me have the time to think about it'. Well get your time, and after few days the girl replied, 'well i thought over nights and finally noticed that i love you too' What do you guys think? This is really love? They lost their commonsense too. That girl gave birth of love for the boy just thinking over nights. Lol. How silly is this? And the base of love is beauty these days, well smartness too. But what is beauty? White skin? What is more beautiful than death, huh? Beauty is, the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you look at, the way you gaze upon other, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you cry, the way you comb your hair, the way you choose your outfits, the way you lie, the way you think, everything is part of your beauty. I've seen so many black girls are far more beautifull than some white girls. Beauty lies inside of your body and comes out by your doings. That is beauty. Saying love you is not the way of expressing love. A girl never said to me that she loves me, but i know she loves me and waiting for the opportunity to let me know. As i don't do the same, i won't give her the opportunity. Love is new hope of living happily. One of my ex-friend used to say Love is chemistry. Maybe it is. One molecule donates/takes an elctron to/from other and binds together forming a bond gives another molecule. Maybe love is an exceptional math in which one plus one always equals to one. Or maybe love is philosophy in which one is born for another one. But love doesn't require to end up happily. It doesn't require to get theirselves married. In religious thought, women were born for men and from their bones of chest. They are matted pairs and they will marry each other. It doesn't mean he/she can not love anyone else. He/she will marry you as his/her fate, but it is not written on fate that he/she will love you. So, i might say don't make love too cheap. It is so precious. Once given, was given forever. No pay back demands. But surely it will pay off if it is true. This is my psychology, that may conflict with yours, sorry for that. And if it hurts anyone who read it, accept my apology.

Days of dhaka.

12:22am

Days here at dhaka is not so exciting anymore. Elakae onk senior hoye gechi. Chayer dokane adda, golpo etc. Choto belae bashay shamner bishal boro dhupkhola maath a cricket kheltam. Borabor e ata ami valo kheli. Ekhon r khela hoyna. College theke khela chere disi. FMC te o temon ekta kheli nai. FMC te amr performance totota valo na, jodio amr team champ. Ekta 98 run er innings khub ekta boro kichuna. Choto belae amk afridi bolto keu keu, abar keu keu gibs bolto. lol. Aj amr sokal hoyeche 2:30 a. Vaia k see off korte 7 tae ekbar uthsilam. Then abar ghum. Bikele lunch kore friends der sathe adda marlam. Ami, emon, prokash, pitu, agomon, tomal, faruk, shomrat. Aro koyekjon. Valoi laglo onkdin porer adda. Friends der kache ami buddhijibi type er. J kono solution amkei dite hoy. Tar ag porjonto torko choltei thake. Jony k miss korlam. O gram a geche. Bikrompur. Himu, babu k o dekhlam na. Vul amr e. Phone dinai oder. Kal dibo. Asole ekhon amader age er max. chele hoy job notuba business kore. R amra medical a ghas kati. Hayre medical. Amr ekta election korar icche chilo. Student life a parlam na. FMC te to chattro shongshod nai. Thakle election kortam. Ami jittam bole amr biswas. Vote politics different jinis. Ata ami onk valo bujhi. Feku mamar cha ta darun lage. Or dokanei amader adda. Mojar manush ekta. Kotha barta shunle haste haste obostha kharap hoye jae. Bashay khabar niye amr ektu problem hoy. Sara din ki keu khete pare? Ata niyei jhamela hoy beshi. Amr ma jhari o khay amr kase ei jonno. Ekbar ma k bollam gorur mangsho paoa faridpur ektu tough. Bolei ekta pap korsi. Ekhon ashle sara din gorur mangsho. Ata ki shomvob, sara din gorur mangsho khawa? Ki r kora. Ami kono dhoroner fish e khaina. Selective kisu. Jeemon, ilish, chingri etc khai. Age dekha jeto sara din agulo khete hobe. Ajob. Khawa dawa niye amr kono interest nai. Ja pabo tai khaba, valo na lagle khabo na. Na kheye thakte amr problem hoyna. Majhe majhe to khabar kotha vulei jai. Majhe majhei emon hoise j rat a choto vai der ask kortesi, oi ami ki dinner korsi? Mone pore na. Tobe amr bed ta k khub miss kortesi. Asole hostel a amr j bed ase seta chara onno kothao amr ghum ashte kosto hoy. Otobi theke 13hazar tk diye kinsilam single bed ta. Sathe foam, 3 hazar tk. Balish gula 300tk kore kinsilam maybe. Onek aram. Puran hoye geche. New kinbo vabtesi. Sobcheye beshi miss kortesi amr rocking chair ta. Ota amr onk boro company. Rat a dol khete khete chinta kortam politics and other bepar gulo niye. Aj prokas er kach theke kichu wallpaper nilam mobile a. Jotil kichu quotes. Ekta hocche, I say No to Drugs. But they don't LISTEN. Jotil na? Lol. R kichu love niye quotes ase. Obossho segulo porle cupid er kotha mone pore. Sob shomoy e pore, but tokhon miss kori. Feel kori tar absense ta. Problem holo ami takey shorashori kokhono propose korini. Parbo o na. Shahoshe kulae na amr. Okey ami khub voy pai seta ageo bolsi. Tomra ki bolte paro amr ki kora uchit? Mojar bepar holo, campus a koyekta junior amk like kore, prem korte chay. Lol. But tarao bolte voy pae amk. Amk emnitei sobai voy pae. Kintu mul bepar holo, tara amk like kore and prem korte chay, kintu valobashe na. Valobashar prokas ta kono na kono vabe hobei. Ata keu lukate parena. So, i've never seen any symptom of love for me on them. I konw few of them. Maybe it's just an attraction. Love is far different from it. My one is love. The chance of have her is zip, though i'm feeling her, missing her every single moment, sacrificed my entire academic carrier just to stay far from her. No one knows. Only me and the almighty. Yeah, i felt attraction for few other girls too. And when they gone i felt nothing painful on me. So, it made me sure that it wasn't love, just attraction which grows in eyes and fades over time. In FMC in most cases the girls want benefits from boys, he who gives more than anyone else have a big probability to be her bf. And another option it time. With whom a girl spent most of her time doing anything like study or chat or phone conversation is her bf in future. Maybe it will take one or 2 months. And when they have nothing to give or take, they will broke up. Now these day having bf/gf has become part fashion. And making change of it another type of fashion. Dependency. If you love anyone, you don't need to propose, just provoke her to depend upon you, she'll propose you shortly if she is not cunning. Simple. Sex is another blessing!!! of our modern society. Have you ever had sex? (Nope) Nope??? Are you crazy? You are still virgin? I wonder if you realy have a dick. Damn man, don't say you are gay... LMAO! This is conversation between 2 friends in our modern society. The world is turning too fast i think. It was embarassing to hug any girl at open place like park. Now? Kissing is normal at park and if you have the chance you may suck dick. And after evening? God damn it. One of my friend got married and he realy talks too dirty. Today i react so badly to stop him. He just replied, c'mon man, i think your dick doesn't erect at all. I was astonished and replied him back, yeah dude, as you have somewhere to put your dick when it erects. But i don't. So, what's the benefit for me if it erects? I don't have such. Then he shuts his pie hole. Screwed. Sometime it feels to me that all the people oevr the world is after 2 things, food and sex. Yeah, i read that on physiology. It does have medical base. Limbic system. Maybe limbic system is our MON not heart. Heart is just a pumping mechine.

The truth continued.

2:32am

Yeah, they deserve to be friend of people like zakir. Aj zakir shipon k niye 5 ta baje kotha showrav k bolche to kal showrav k niye 5 ta baje kotha shipon k bolbe. Ha ha ha. These guys are poisons of our society. I never thought people like this will get closer to me, but just for showrav. When these type people can't get room from me, they surely would go to showrav and make some delicious chat for about 30 min and he will be the best friend of showrav for next few days. Majed er sathe jhograr karone showrav amr sathe ase. Majed er ekta ghotna boli, majed. The best tout i've ever seen in my life. Ami bortomane j room a asi, seta ai campus a amr 1st alloted room. 106. Ai room a 2 jon thaka jae. Tablig chalaki kore ai room a 3 jon uthalo, tokhon amra matro campus a aschi. Kosto hoto 3 joner. Ghum, porashona kisue hoto na. Majed extention er ekta room a eka uthlo, r keu okhane uthbe na. Se amk bollo tui amr sathe uthe ja. Ami bollam, hmm, dekhi, amr o room change korar icche ache, 3 jon oi room a thaka kosto. O bollo to amr room a chole ae. Deri kore lav ki, aj e ae. Ami bollam dekhi r ektu chinta kori. O nijei tokhoni amr bed, books or room a niye gelo. Badha dilam na. Boro ekta table a 2 jon portam. Ekdin porar shomoy showrav okey deke niye gelo. 30 min o eshe amk bolche. Dekh dost, ai room a 2 r ami thaki, 2 jon e ghum theke uthte parina. Class kora hocche na. Tor o problem amr o problem. Ami bepar valo kore bujhte parlam oi 30 min ki hoyeche. Ami bollam asol kotha bol, o bollo, ai hoy tui thak na hoy ami thaki. Tui thakle amr kasheful vai k dhore shandhanir room a uthte hobe, r tui to janis ami club a jorate chacchina. R tui gele, showrav er room a jete paris showrav k ekhane niye ashbo tahole. Ami sotti nirbak hoye gelam. Khub kharap laglo tokhon. Ami bollam ami chole jabo tobe ekta shorto. O ask korlo ki shorto. Ami bollam, ami akhon e ai muhurte room change korbo and amr jinispotro ja ache tomra oi room a diye ashba. Jei kotha sei kaj. Koyek din dekhi showrav r majed er jhogra, majed showrav k chere chole gelo onno room a. Sei 106. Oi room theke pore abar ami okey ber kore dei. Abar majed r showrav ek sathe 101 a uthlo. Kivabe shomvob ata. Pore jante parlam majed showrav er room giye porto, showrav k reading partner banaise. Lol. Ai tahole rohossho. Abar majed showrav jhorga, showrav er notun bondhu ebar zakir. 2 jon ek room a uthlo. Atao tiklo na. 2 jon abar 2 jon k dekhte pare na. Last a abar majed showrav juti. What a history. 101 no room niyeo jhamela hoisilo. Showrav uthbe jony vai er seat a. Ami razib vai k bolsilam, onar seat a ami uthbo. Zakir o naki bolse. Razib vai amk ador korto onek, abong amk onar seat a tulbe erokom chinta chilo tar. Zakir ek din adnan k diye amk dakalo, gelam. O amk bollo, dad 101 a tmi uthba na ami uthbo se bepar a tmr decision janar jonno daksi ektu. Tachara jony seat a to showrav uthbe. Or o to motamot thakte pare room mate kake korbe. Ami bollam, shono zakir, tmra decision niye amk janao. Ami jodi decision nei j ami uthbo, seta thekanor moto ability tomader nai. So tmrai decision nao. Amr problem nai. Bole chole ashlam. Tokhon 104 a thaktam. Zakir pore phone kore janalo o uthbe, ami phone a okey bollam, hmm ami jantam. Pore rajib vai kaokei dilo na. Showrav k o na. Zakir k o na. Dilo 12 er badshah vai k, tar sathe showrav uthbe na. Lol. O r ekta bepar, zakir amk dad dakto. Oder 14 gusti banate cheyechilo fmc te. Jony puspol k, showrav jony k, ami showrav k, r zakir amk bap dakto. Ami j kivabe showrav er chele holam mojar bepar. Jhumur name er ekta maye ase amader batch a. Jhumur k insult korar jonno boltam khalamma. Khalamma to mayer motoi. Pore daktam amma. Fun kore. Hotat shuni, biddut vai er ghotkali korte giye showrav feshe gese. Jhumur k valobashe se. Ai shutre amk chele daka shuru korlo. Ajob. R zakir er kotha nai barta nai hotat amk dad dad daka shuru korlo. Jottosob pagol chagol. Ai ghotona gulo ami kono din vulte parbo na. Onek koster ai srity gulo. Onek osru joriye ache ai srity te. Shudhu ekta jinish e bolbo, One day truth and honesty will triumph. 3 ta baje. Ghumanor try kori. Bye guys. Have a nice dream and wake up for a better day.

The truth!

1:50 am

Bashay eshe ekta jhamelae porte hoy sobshomoy. Seta holo cigarette. Rat cigarette khetam na kokhonoi, jokhon bashay chilam. But now hostel life a, rate atleast 10 ta cigarette lage. Bashay ashle khawa hoy 1 ta matro. Damn. This is just wrong man. Aj ekta sotti golpo likhvo blog a. Politics related. Amr kokhonoi avabe politics korar icche chilona. Mane ato boro politician howar. Ek friend oidin bollo, shipon er moto political leader kono mc tei nai. Kotha ta hoyto sotto ba otironzito. Tobe eta thik, medical college a politics kore pore zellar politics a leading deya aj porjonto keu pareni. Ja bolchilam, ata kokhonoi amr icche chilo na. FMC te vorti howar por dekhlam club based nongrami. Village politics. Sobcheye nikristotomo rajnity. Kharap lagto. Tokhon ami rajnity dhukanor bepar a uddog nilam. Pore shuni arokom aro koyekjon ase. Sobai ek holam. Rajnity ashlo, ekhane villain holo medicine club, mair khelo sojib r tanna. Sathe maruf. Amra committee pelam. Tokhon e politics theke nijeke gutiye nei. Ja cheyechilam tai hoyeche. R ki chai? Amader batch theke thik chilo ami president r showran gs. Kintu ami mone mone vabtam, ami president hole showrav amr mrittur ag porjonto bolbe j, se sacrifice korsilo bolei ami president hoisi. Ager ekta post a ami likhsilam, vikkhar dan ami nei na. Hoy adae kori or orjon kori. Tai mone mone thik korsilam sacrifice ta ami e korbo. But ai rajnity theke nijeke gutiye neya ta k amr durbolota vablo jony vai. Amk prae bad deyar plan korlo. Sei gs pod tai amr upor chapiye dite chay, na manle ami bad. Kharap laglo shune. Ami bollam amr pod lagbe na. Pod chai o na. Tarpor 2009 er 16th december amk phone dilo jony abong kharap achoron korlo. Challenge korlo amk. Bollo, tmi kivabe faridpur a politics koro ami dekhe nibo. I accept that challenge. Shuru holo amr upor manosik nirjaton jar kono protikar nai. Ek shomoyer kacher choto vaira beyadobi kora shuru kore indirectly. Khub kosto lagto. Prothome chinta korsilam college politics korbo na. Tito sir mana korsilo. Bolsilo, sobai rajnity kore ja pae, shipon jodi tader cheye beshi pae tahole or rajnity korar ki dorkar. Tai ami nijeke zella te involve korlam. Zellar ekta sodossho pod o college committee r president er soman. Sekhane performance ato valo j, aro boro pod chinta korto amk niye, ami nije kortam na. Rajnity ta ek shomoy nijer ostitto rokkhar jonno korte hoyechilo amr. Rajnity ene college a amr adhipotto brong komse. Age to shipon name ta senior der jonno o atongko chilo. Jai hok, jony vai k mone mone thanks janai ami. Tini betray na korle ami ato dur ashte partam na. Tachara, kormo abong kormofol a ami biswas kori. Jony vai amk faridpur a rajnity korte dibe na bolsilo, kintu se e faridpur a rajnity korte parlo na. Tar chele to bishal shubidhabadi, mane showrav. Jony k showrav baba dake. Kono upae na dekhe politics a bertho hoye room a lej gutiyeche. Akhon bole se student politics korbe na. Huh! O ki ai decision neyar age or sathe choto vai der kotha ek bar o vabse??? Selfish. Shubidhabadi. Aj ami jodi rajnity chere dae, amr fellow gular ki hobe chinta kora jae? Oder jonno holeo to amk involve thakte hobe. Akhon showrav emotional sms pathae majhe majhe. Huh. Kothae chilo ai emotion tokhon? Kkothae chilo ai friendship? Jony ekhon amr sathe phone a vab jomae. Ki character eder. Amr panse life er binodon era. Showrav er karone ami onk opomanito hoisi campus a. Tai chor er moto sokale berotam rat 2 ta baje firtam. Ekhon chaile sob opomaner revenge nite pari. Kintu nibo na. Ami or moto na. O ekhon amk dekhle lojja pae. Etai or shati. Allah e ei shasti okey dicche. Doctor politics korbe naki o. Valo. Ami mone hoy doc politics korbo na. Ha ha ha. Abar hobe dekha. Ek din sadir sathe library te asob kotha niye torko hocchilo. Ek porjaye sadi bole, hoyto jony vai tmr cheye showrav vai k beshi joggo mone korse. Joggota!!! Ami reply korsilam, ami mone hoy tomader rajnity te badha disi. Show 'em what you got. Showrav er neta hoyar joggota thakle obosshoi hobe. Ami to kothao badha dei nai. Mukhe boro boro kotha showrav er r jonyr. Tito sir er politics kore naki o. Huh! Tito sir ekhon okey tolerate korte pare na. Cause, amr name a onek mittha complain sir k korse se. Are, showrav er cheye tito sir amr shomporke beshi jane, khobor rakhe. Tito er jonnoi ba ki korse ora? Huh! Borong tito sir er principle howar pechoneo amr ektu holeo obodan ache. R amr name a sir k complain kore j ami sir er anti politics kori. Funny. They are realy mad guys! They've gone crazy then. Last college politics ta emon hoisilo j, shipon thekao. Anti-shipon politics. Sobai ek hoye amr against a. Tao bertho. Tar por room lej gutaise amr bondhu showrav. Amr ai birthday te sms send korsilo. Hayre natok. Amr protita birthday showrav k niye korsi. Kotha boltam na. Tobuo oi ek din er jonno okey bondhu hishebe mene nitam. Room a deke niye eshe tarpor cake kattam. Or mone hoy ai 5 year maybe 1 ta birthday te amk invite korsilo. Ekhon bondhu. Tokhon ai friendship kothae chilo? Ami lokjoner sathe jogra korsi, r showrav korse pirit. Amr sob gula shotru or friend. Jaderke dekhte parina, tara or friend. Sobgula tout. Actually chore chore mastuto vai to hobei. Onek koster srity agula. Age jokhon kaoke boltam kanna peto. Kadsio onek eshob vebe. Tito sir bole, shipon hocche amr moto, baire shokto, vetor ta norom. Emotional. Tai hoyto agulo vebe kadtam. Now i just hate them. They don't deserve to be a friend of people like me. They deserve to be a friend of zakxy.